December 16, 1993

What all happened? First of all I backed up and couldn’t go anywhere, went over a log. Then I finally got to school at 8:10 AM. After school we went to Anna’s house and I got a flat and Anna's Mom was in a bitchy mood. Went over to Anna's Grandma and called Mikey to tell him I would be late 4:30 or so. He said “OK Anna, so you don’t need me to pick you up.” That’s when I said around 430. Anna's Mom made us change the tire by ourselves. We done it, but it took about an hour. We got to the park at 4:45 and he wasn’t there, so we decided to drive by his house, but before we could even get off The City Park highway, we passed him, I meet him with a cigarette in my mouth saying will be back. So we (Anna and I) turned around. We talked about how his wife got onto us and he said “I already know” to Anna and then he told us that it was a hoax because they would’ve already knew it was me by now. We also talked about how I’m talking more like Mikey every day. I’ve been saying you know what I’m saying all the time. He gave me two dollars and we also talked about home games. And I told Mikey that I understand why you called her big mouth —she wouldn’t shut up — then she said something and he started acting like he was going to strangle her and I hit him in his hand was where I hit him at (it hurt). We also talked about me calling and him calling me Anna. He told Anna that she had to act like she needed a ride home from school. And for me when I called to say that I’m Anna. I’ve always wanted to know what to say when they ask who I am, now I know, I just hope they don’t ask questions I don’t know the answer to. But I know Anna pretty well, so 9 chances out of 10 I’ll know the answers. We talked about Anna moving out, our singing at church, me not having to be home until 10 PM. I told him he didn’t see anything and pointed at the cigarette. And he said see what. Later on Anna said something about “my cigarette” and Mikey said “Yours” she changed it to “JayCee’s” real fast. Then he said no they’re yours. Anna told him not to tell anyone, and he said he wouldn’t. We asked him if he had the tire back on right because we had to learn how to do it by ourselves. I knew the basic, but it was the first one I changed without dad being there to make sure I did it right. He said that we did and that he went by Anna‘s house first, I guess I told him where we were. We made plans for Friday, we met at the library at 4:30 and I’m going to get there sooner if possible so who knows what else we’ll do he knows I don’t have to be home until 10 PM. I hope he realizes that I won’t go all the way not yet anyway, but a kiss would be nice.

Anna talks so much, but that’s OK because Mikey and I are going to be together tonight alone and it will be only me and him talking for sure.

I got “the tablet” out to show him how long it was and he said all of it’s about me. I said yes and Anna said she reads it and I said you’ve only read two pages of it. She said “yeah she keeps track of everything” and she read what money he’s given to me and what I spent it on. He asked about the memory box and I told him that I have a money memory box that I put money in and Anna said “yeah and then she spends it and the cashier asked who’s Mikey and we say that it was on it when we got the dollar he laughed at us and Carla turned to where I kept track of the phone calls and read them off and he asked about the one at eight and I told him. He said “oh yeah.” Then he said that gets expensive since I called from out of town and I asked when he called me from out of town and he said remember what you told your mom. “Oh yeah I didn’t understand what you were getting at.” He started laughing I also showed him both of the pictures and told him about the one I have saved back for him. That he would never get. He said that’s kind of understandable. Anna asked why all the pictures had him with glasses on when he doesn’t even wear them. I said maybe it’s because he should. Mikey said that he needs them, so he could read better, and then Anna handed it to Mikey and I pulled it out of Mikey’s hands and said, “not yet.” It made me nervous when she was acting that way. I don’t want him to read this. I’m not for sure if nervous was the word to describe it. I was getting upset with Anna. Finally everything about him and the tablet was changed off the subject.

When we were talking about beards he asked me if I didn’t like whisker burns and I just stared and Anna (helping me out) said I know I don’t and Mikey and I looked at her and she said my dad gave me one. Then Mikey kept pushing himself to my shoulder, (I wanted to do something that night all day and when he actually started coming towards me I got so nervous my stomach felt like it was going to explode.) I said “quit it” then “stop it” with a tear waiting and he said “you really don’t like that do you.” I looked away and didn’t say anything. He’ll probably ask about it tomorrow.

It was 5:30 PM when he said that he had to go to Walmart and work on his car. We reminded each other about the “date” we have for tomorrow and then he left and I left. Our song “I need some TLC ASAP” was on. Isn’t that neat? Then we followed him to the gas station and I went to get some gas and forgot which car I had and had to turn around to get it. So we talked a little more and he paid me two more dollars while Anna was in paying our two dollars of gas. Like normal I put a dollar back in the memory box and then a dollar for the tire. We were going to meet again at Walmart, but by the time we got back there from getting the tire fixed he was gone. We went by his house and then went to Anna's dad’s house and out by Scott’s and then to Angie’s and got back in time. We were 15 minutes late, but they hadn’t left yet.

06/07/2021 — When someone is grooming someone to be the victim, they encourage little touches to get the person used to them touching them. He would try to do little “Innocent” touches each time we met. Later and before I turned 17, he tells me exactly what the touches were for, but again I never saw the red flags until afterwards and I started reflecting on what had happened during this time frame. I wish I would have noticed all these before “I fell in love with him”; needless to say, at the time I really did think he loved me as much as I loved him, but after experiencing true love I now know that what I loved was feeling like someone care, having someone who listened, and having someone who made me feel wanted and like I belonged in a world where I didn’t. Below is the article on the grouping steps and how he went through the last three stages.

Social Responsibility: Six Stages of Sexual Grooming – signs to watch for, report abuse

Posted On 12th Nov 2020

4. Isolating

The groomer actively tries to isolate the child from people who may be watchful or helpful. This kind of isolation creates deeper connection & dependency. The offender also exhibits exemplary behavior before parents of the victim & manipulates them into trusting the relationship.

5. Sexualizing or Desensitizing to Touch

This is the stage before the actual abuse. The abuser increases non-sexual touching that will prepare the child for abuse. This may include hugs, snuggles and tickling. The offender creates situations with nudity involved (swimming, massages, watching pornography) where the adult exploits the child’s natural curiosity and uses sexual stimulation to excite the child and advance abuse.

6. Secrecy & Maintaining Control

The offender uses emotional blackmail and blame to continue to be sexual and maintain secrecy of the relationship. They warn the victim that no one will believe them if they open up or that he/she was the one to “start it.

Needless to say, Mikey was already trying to get me to be alone and stop hanging out with different friends because he was a afraid they would tell on us. He started non-sexual touching and made me feel like it was my fault when I got nervous and that I should be able to trust him because he would never hurt me. He would get mad when he found out different friends knew about our 'relationship" the secrecy and control only got worse as I got older.