December 21, 1993

What a great, fun, and lovely night for me.

Letter to Mikey:

Mikey,

You may or may not realize how much I missed the phone calls and seeing you. I mean I hardly ever got to see you even before last Friday, but when you called and let me hear your voice it made me so happy just to hear your voice.

Most guys don’t understand me as much as you. I miss you so much. I miss everything we’ve done together. This might sound stupid, but thanks to the “tablet” I can remember everything we’ve done together.

I was in a role in Chemistry, but then the bell rang and I had to go to chorus and guess who’s in my class. No less than Anna or should I say Big Mouth, which is not letting me write this letter.

Please try to call whenever possible, because when you call I smile when you don’t I’m sad. I miss you so much, but I do understand what you said Friday on everything, but please try to call me some not every day but every day you can and tell me when you work the city if you know ahead of time.

I’m going out on 27th of December. I’ll probably be leaving at 3 PM and not have to be home until 1:30 AM. Maybe we can do something.

I have Christmas on the 24th at my Mom's mom's house and My mom's grandma will be there the 25th will probably be at the hospital. Yes she’s doing better. Last Saturday she was feeding herself.

I have a homemade Christmas present for you, you will receive at the same time as this letter.

PS see you tonight God I can’t wait I’ve missed you so much. “I need some TLC ASAP” is our song OKay. R-N-R for U and Me.

Love U know.

Why is the only time I get to see the man of my dreams is in the middle of a crowd? Why is it that we hardly ever get to talk? I love it when we talk, I love it when we are together, but the stupid SOB we have for chief of police right now as to be here. I honestly really think that’s why he’s not talking to me, maybe it’s not Timmy I have an even stronger feeling that it’s Timmy's wife that’s the reason. Who knows, all I know is I want to talk to him, oh yes just seeing and looking at him made me happy, but being able to talk to him would make me even happier. He’s talking to Mr. Martin right now, but there’s one good thing about tonight is that he’s been looking at me every time I look at him. When we meet Eye 2 Eye he smiles at me. He’s winked at me 10 times, I wonder if he realizes how that makes me. That on top of smiling at me doesn’t help much. Heck, I don’t know if I could say no if he ask right now.

He just doesn’t know how happy and carefree he can make a girl my age or not. I love that boy - too much - maybe. If we could only get together more often and talk more often. He made me smile the whole game well should say most of the game. I wanted to talk to him more than I got to, but thanks to Timmy he couldn’t. I understand, but I also feel even happier than usual because I caught him looking at me so many times, I couldn’t count them and like I said he always smiled, which made me so happy and special. More details later.

Well the day started out with me picking Caroline, Aubree, and Anna up. We found a police officer and followed him and drop Caroline and Aubree off at the front of the high school. Anna and I didn’t get parked until 8:17 AM and still had to get to class.

After school I dropped Anna off and Caroline and I went to McDonald’s and the nursing home. Mikey was home every time we went by. I got Caroline home at 4:45 and went to Anna‘s left at 5:30 went by the police station his car was there. And I saw him in the window. Anna and I went by the station 21 times before Mikey came out and three of those he was the third time I stopped and Anna asked if he needed a ride he said no my rides right over there. Then I looked up and saw the police car and I said oh, and flew on. Then we went turned around and followed it to the school. Into the teachers parking lot and I parked. He left and went over to the lunch parking lot and we walk slowly. And finally went inside paying four dollars in nickels and quarters.

Finally he came and he waited in the lobby for a while, so I waited until he looked over at us and we went upstairs so did he. We talked a while and Anna and him also talked. “Why did he try calling her house?” Anyway, he asked me about my necklace and I told him and when he picked it up to look at it he left his hands on my chest for 30 seconds to a minute. He also asked if I was going out riding around tomorrow night and I said I can’t then he said then I’ll call you. And I smiled. We talked for a half an hour before he had to go back downstairs. That’s when I told Anna I would buy her popcorn. Even when he was downstairs he had looked at me from the court doors and would smile and wink at me. I love it when he winks I still get that feeling when I think about it. My feeling is great I love like I said. My stomach gets all worked up in a positive way.

When I went downstairs, the boys from Chemistry class was there. They kept talking about how Mikey (but using his real name) was my boyfriend and that I was falling for him. I said "he’s a friend I didn’t realize that was a sin". And "no I’m not drunk". Then two said "I don’t know about just friends I saw the way he looks at you". And you talking about someone that was happy. That comment made me so happy I smiled right then and there.

I brought him his Christmas present (cookies) and he thanked me. I also told him there was a letter in there. He took the letter and told me to give him the cookies when he can put them in his coat (downstairs) so when he was downstairs between the bleachers and the wall (close to the girls locker room) looking at me I acted like I was going to throw it and he said “OK” then I went to the railing and threw it down he caught it and winked then we both smiled at each other. He knew how to make me smile at each other.

Then at halftime all the off-duty police officers came out to smoke and Mikey talk to them, but it looked like he wanted to come over to me, but he couldn’t. I understood.

Then they went back inside and I waited a little while. I’m still mad at Timmy because it’s his fault I just know it. It's easy for me to be mad at Timmy because I can't stand him - he makes me so nervous. I wish I knew if he was a police officer in 1986, but oh well I might not ever get the answer to what happened that day.

Mikey and I talked about my Grandma and I told him that she’s getting better and feeding herself now. He says but you have to realize that everybody dies sometime and then I told him my biggest fear about Grandma and he told me that it could easily happen.

Later on that night he was looking at me and I told him to come upstairs and he said “OK” so he came up and put his hand on my shoulder said “hi” and then went on. He went downstairs on the other side but I caught him looking at me so many times, that made me so happy. He was talking to Mr. Martin a lot. Maybe I’ll find out what all they talked about tonight when he calls.

He also asked me what else was in the letter (I had told him that it had Christmas plans in it), and Anna and I went outside for a “double T”. Then we came back in and it was halftime then after that we waited on the steps and I went over to talk to Beavis while he was talking to Mikey. Of course Mikey smiled at me and I smiled back then I went back to sit on the stairs and Mikey came over and said I read the last part. And I could feel myself blushing and we both smiled. Before that when he asked me what else was in the letter I told him I didn’t know and he would have to read it to find out.

After the game, he waited for me and I begged him to take a ride from me and he said he couldn’t “I know but I can’t” So I told him to wait and we would follow we got ahead so we waited and then went and waited again until the car made us go. We got to see him walk into the police station. Anna and I went by 24 more times a total of 45 times that night and then we followed him home and I was happy. Guess how old Mikey is?

We (Anna and I) asked Mikey what would happen if we were caught following police officers and he told us nothing, but the officer would ask what and why we were doing it. And we told him about Saturday night and how we almost hit the police car and he told me that I better be happy I stopped. We also told him to guess how many times we went by the station he guessed 10 times we said too low then he said 40 then We told him 21. So after the game we made it 45 which is how old he is and that’s why we did it. We almost followed a police officer, but then realized Mikey was coming so we could follow him.

06/07/2021 — How could classmates see how he was looking at me, but yet the adults around me never address the problem with it. You can’t tell me that the other police officers and teachers around me didn’t notice if my classmates, who I didn’t talk to much did. Or maybe my classmates were more observant than the other police officers and teachers in my life — which I don’t think is the case, especially the police officers who were around the situation as much as some of them were. I do believe they knew something was going on — I’m not sure they knew what all was going on or when it turned violent. I was to afraid to ask for help and yet I blamed them for years for not stopping it, the thing I think about now is how would they know they needed to stop it if they didn’t know I needed help. But some of the adults in my life knew and still did nothing to stop it. When my classmates pointed it out, I was at this basketball game and I was only 16 years old!