December 7, 1993

Sam, Anna, and I talked about Mikey fourth hour and made plans on how to catch up with him.

So after the chorus meeting, we went by his house and he wasn’t home, so we looked for an hour and finally went to Megan’s house to pick her up. That’s when I called him. Found out he wasn’t working the game he was just going to be going to the game. I asked if we could meet somewhere and he kept asking where. He suggested a restaurant and Walmart, and I told him too many people. Then I said the city park because he said a park. At 5:30 to 6 and I got so hyper.

So then we went to his house and parked in the apartment parking lot and we waited. Then Caroline and Megan con me into going to call him. We got to the phone and Anna started honking the horn. That’s when we all started running and I almost fell, so we started yelling. He heard. So we finally got into the car and we were real quiet and was so nervous then he turned around and pulled in and we rolled our windows down and talked about five minutes. He asked about the screaming and we told him. And we decided to make it to the city park and talk there. Before we left he was putting Chapstick on his lips and I asked what he was doing and he told me and I said “I guess that’s OK.” Then I followed him to the city park.

We talked about a girl named Megan, which happened to be there. We also told him it was her. I gave him my planners and he looked through them. I handed him a black pen he wanted to know why black and I told him that it was the only pen I had. He said “well I have a blue one.” I told him that would be OK. Then he asked if we were going to the game I said “yes if you have money to pay my way.” He gave me five dollars of course I put two dollars in my memory box. I told him we had to go to the party first and we made it out on where to meet. Then we left. And the first song to come on was “TICASAP” we went to the party and stayed for 20 minutes. We talk to the exchange student and told her adios “goodbye” and sorry that we couldn’t stay. We talk to Ms. Richards, Jamie, who I asked for pictures and to be informed about the other exchange student's going away party, talk to Dennis, too. Told him that I wish I could split into and be at two places at once. I had told him that I promised someone I would be at the game. He told me that "that’s what happens when you have a boyfriend" and I laughed and he said “that’s it isn’t it”. And I said “not exactly”.

We finally got to the game and I couldn’t find him, so we went outside and did some calling after four rings I hung up. Went back inside and looked for him and found him and we went upstairs. Caroline was on the other side during this time. Then the other police officer on duty wouldn’t leave, but we didn’t either. We talked, but it was Officer Johnson and Mike who did the most talking at first. Finally the first game was over and we went outside I stole his hat and wore it. We talked about some things mainly police stuff, Megan went home at 7:30 PM. Thank God for small favors. His birthday is June 15, not in December. Oops Carla and I started laughing. Officer Johnson and Mikey didn’t know what we were laughing about and we didn’t fill them in.

Then we went inside and Mikey got some popcorn. I ate some then I told Anna that we’re going to get him to sit by Caroline and then we finish the popcorn and he got a soda he told me that “when I get this done we’ll go and sit upstairs”. I told him I was going to ask him to do that because another friend of mine was up there. Then he said “here you want the rest of this” of course I took it I still have the cup. And a classmate smiled at me.

Mikey and I went upstairs and Anna did, too. At first we were one on each row, but then we finally moved so we were on one row. Mikey kept talking about my mom how she would feel, react, and what she would do. He also asked if my friends would tell I said, “No”. I even told him my mom didn’t read the planner. He said, “good because my name is in it.”

We talked a little longer before another guy he knew start talking to him, along with the two things above and Anna and Mikey talking about what Anna’s Mom wanted for a Christmas present. If she wanted the same thing as last year, which I took it the wrong way. It wasn’t sex it was perfume. It made me so depressed along with Office Johnson, he was bringing back a lot of bad memories (the feelings) I was so depressed that I had to go downstairs twice and I cried. That hat of Officer Johnson’s didn’t help at all and I don’t know why. When I was upstairs by Mikey, I looked at the roof. I caught him looking at me a couple of times. He could tell I was upset. Finally the game was over and we kind of said goodbye and all. I waited for him to go down the stairs some, but we still met on the stairs.

Caroline, Anna, and I drove around a little came back to the school and Kansa Boy was there. We picked him up and told him what all was happening. He was drunk and I also took Anna to the gas station. I drank some Still White Wine it was good. I drove crazy around town and got my first kiss from Kansas Boy, who doesn’t remember any of that night. I got home from Mikey’s house in 12 minutes that’s counting three minutes at Caroline’s house so it’s more like nine minutes. When usually it takes 16 minutes. The kiss was tongue to tongue and I can still remember it, feel it, and see it happening. It was on the opposite side of the high school and right across from Mr. Powell’s room. It was a wonderful moment. (2/23/94 - Mikey gave me my first kiss that met anything to me on 02/17/94) December the month to react on what I’m accused of. I guess I can do a lot, but I’m just joking. What happens happens.

10/23/2003 — That’s another red flag, he always tried to make me make the decisions on what and where. Now that I’m older I’m thinking it’s as if he wanted to make sure I knew I put myself in the situation, so it’s my fault. He would say that it’s because he didn’t want me to feel like I was being forced into some thing I didn’t want to do. However I still tried to say what I knew he wanted to hear. In a way, I still do this with my husband.

06/04/2021 — This entire night was a red flag, he was worried about my mom finding out about him and my friends telling someone. If someone wants or needs to keep a relationship a secret then something is wrong with that relationship. In my case, it was not only the fact that he was 28 and half years older than me and married, but because I was under age and he was a police officer. The secret of the relationship was to make sure no one found out about the way he was acting towards me. It only benefited him to keep it secret because he knew what he was doing was wrong. It benefited him because if the right person found out what was going on, he could have lost his job, his wife, and possibly even jail time for the things he did before I turned 17 even though it wasn’t violently forceful it was forced because I had told him early on just friends and yet he twisted the friendship to make it hands-on even though he knew it not only made me nervous but scared. He knew what to say when to say it to make me believe it was my fault because of my past that I was nervous and scared of his touch. Also since I was only 16, it would have been considered that I was too young to consent. I still believe that if one is five years or older than the 17 year old and he/she is in a Position of Power or Authority (police officer, teacher, doctor, counselor, etc.) it should be a crime, but that will be a discussion for later on. As during my journal writing I haven’t even reached 17 yet.