January 7, 1994

Sixth hour, Caroline and I went to Heather’s and talked to her until 2:30. Caroline left at 2:20pm. I was the main one that talked - it was about “Mikey” - the truths, all except his real name. How confusing I was about it all. She says I’ll end up getting hurt. And she doesn’t was us to get hurt at all. And that Lawrence really cares, we talked about how I could talk better with the sub than Lawrence and how much the sub knows compared to him.

Heather wanted me to be able to talk about that with Lawrence, but she understood with everybody else there. That’s when I told her that we’ve talked a little about it, but not on a day I was really confused. Heather and I also talked about other people causing me trouble, Mom, and other stuff. But it was mainly “Mikey.” I was so upset afterwards and when I finally got back to seventh hour Mr. St. Clair asked “Are you going to be ok?” And I said “Yeah, I guess.” Then I told Anna I needed to talk to her and everybody was talking about boy-girl friends, which made me even more upset.

I asked Mr. St. Clair if I could go to the restroom and I stayed there for at least 10 minutes. And when I got back Anna asked if I was ok. And all I could say is that I had to get away and we asked Mr. St. Clair if we could go talk on the stairs and we talked about Mikey for 20 minutes. And what all I told Heather and that we talked for an hour and 15 minutes. I had told Heather that it was so easy for me to talk to him and he cares about me. That it feels like he really wants to listen and he is the first to know as much as he does about me and my past. We also talked about how terrified I was of police officers before I met him, I didn’t tell her why. But she told me about her when she was my age and how we have to consider it a crush. I don’t think it is. And she said we had to think of the negatives so we could get over them.

Finally, I talked to my mom and got to go out. Like Thursday, we didn’t go to the game. But it was Aubree and I who drove around. We went by Mikey’s house a lot that night and followed police. We followed Officer Wood only to watch him wash his car and drive back to the station. We also followed him to where he was using radar and went by a dozen times while he had someone pulled over. Aubree got tired at 8pm and I took her home at 9pm. I went back to town until 10:10pm and went home. Of course mom and I fought like normal.