November 23, 1993

So confused about everything, especially Mikey. This morning Anna, Caroline, Aubree, Tracey, and I kept going by his house. I almost called him, but Anna knew his wife would be home. I called last night, but one of his daughters answered and I hung up.

We honked the horn as we went by. We went by seven times and had to quit because his wife was at the door the fifth time so we went by to see if it was him or her and it was his wife.

I hope she didn’t get my license plate, because if she did she would probably give it to Mikey to look up and then he would know my license plate number. I’ll have to give it to him the next time I see or talk to him.

I wonder if he’s going to call me Wednesday or not. Guess I’ll find out then. Today I found out that I had a flat Anna and I called Mikey’s house and his wife answered. Anna told her that it was JayCee calling him to help with a flat. She also asked for Officer Mikey. I almost killed her right then and there, but his wife told her he wasn’t there and we went by his house and his car was. I was so mad.

We got some planners from a tire store and I have one for Mikey. I’m going to put all extras in it. First of all, I wrote the home B-ball games high school and middle school. Anyway the other stuff. The name people know him by which is Mikey. Nobody knows his so called last name unless they know what I’m going through. I also put his phone number and address in it.

1) January— Dreams coming true begin with belief = believe in all you dream for and you might get everything. Note: I can only go to one weeknight game and Fridays, so I need to know when you work.

2) February— What we see depends mainly on what we look for = I see a lot of good in you.

3) March— A goal without a plan is a dream = you have to many dreams you need to react on.

4) April— Morale is the essence of achievement = you need a lot of these.

5) May— All great accomplishments have a simple beginning = meaning you have to let this have some time to grow.

6) June— Under promise over perform = you promised to call Wednesday, November 24, 1993 and if you perform you better be able to promise. Happy Father’s Day.

7) July— The secret of getting ahead is getting started = remember that I won’t give you everything not yet anyway.

8) August— What you conceive, you can achieve = don’t even think about it.

9) September— Dedication and determination yield success and satisfaction = this will get you in trouble. I’m not of age yet you know.

10) October— Each moment is stroke in the painting of your life = don’t forget this you are getting old, especially when you think of it in the following way my dad’s almost 40 and I’m almost 17. Oh well, I still like you. Too hard a stroke could cause a lot of pain. Ha! Ha! My strokes are capable of doing the impossible and the unfloorgetable giving you a wrinkle free extra leg, but not yet.

11) November— You can’t have everything so you must decide what you want most = start thinking because I won’t give you everything.

12) December— I will find a way or make one = don’t even think about it.

I circled December. Flower is Holly, Birthstone is Turquoise and December 27 is my birthday. Guess who’s under special dates to remember, important numbers was my phone number. You know who and where I live. Notes: This is what I want you to do when you call - call anytime before 9:30pm on weekdays only. People know you as Mikey, so if you want to talk to me tell them you’re Mikey. Just say you’re Mikey because my parents will get worried if you hang up. See ya. Don’t let your wife see this it might get me in trouble. Of course you know that.

06/01/2021 — This is were I sometimes feel so stupid and often times blame myself. I knew where are relationship was heading - I thought he loved and cared about me for me not just the sexually things he would later have and later force to get. One needs to remember that even if you love someone and really think it’s a good relationship, it is not ok for a partner to force you to do anything sexual even if you have said yes before it does not give them the right to do it the next time. If you say yes and decide you don’t want it in the middle of it all, you have the right to say “stop” and if you are in a good relationship the partner would understand and not force you to keep going. Please remember that “No” and “Stop” means just that and if someone doesn’t listen to you, then you have been assaulted and it’s not okay. Please get help the first time this happens, because more than likely it will only get worse as time goes on.

Help is available

Speak with someone today

National Sexual Assault Hotline Hours: Available 24 hours 1 (800) 656-4673

https://www.rainn.org/ You can also call 911 or your local police department. With this being said, I also put the blame and the shame back on the person who should carry that blame and the shame. In my case, the person was an adult and a police officer, which should be held to higher standards just because a police officer is supposed to be there to protect people not inflect harm. He should have put a stop to the conversations we were having not encouraging it. He did not know my parents, but he did know my best friend’s mom — he should have went straight to her and told her how I was taking to him. Of course I would have been in a lot of trouble but I wouldn’t have experienced the pain he caused me. Also if he would not have started the sexual jokes and encouraging the conversation, I would never have done this. My point is that what he did to encourage the unprofessional and inappropriate conversations for a 45 year old to be having with a 16 year old is a major red flag to an unhealthy relationship or one step towards making the 16 year old his victim.