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JayCee's Story and Healing Process

I have added a table of contents with links to each post to help in guiding your way through the story and healing process. Reminder this is a work in progress and will take some time to get the entire experience typed and uploaded. There are 2000 (give or take) written pages in the journal from October 1993 to August 1995 plus the healing journals on off throughout the years. Names and places have been changed in the blog to protect those involved. 

I was sexually exploited by a police officer and will share my journal from 1993 to 1995. I experienced a lot of things within the almost 2 years of knowing Mikey. During this time, he groomed me for a sexual relationship, that ended up including sexual abuse, sexual assault, attempted rape, Police Sexual Violence, physical abuse, and emotional abuse. There was a time where I honestly thought he loved me and I loved him -- when I first came across AdvocateWeb in 2003, someone suggested reading the following article and replacing Clergy with police officer and it really helped me with the starting of my healing. During my journal blogs I will also reflect on how I healed through the years and also pointing out the RED FLAGS that something was wrong. I was only 16 when I met Mikey and he was a 45 year old police officer. Some may decide to blame the victim, but I'm hoping to give enough resources and education that when you leave this sight you not only know why the Abuser is at fault, but also how to spot the red flags and relationship that is motived by sexually exploitations. My experience involved a police officer, but needless to say, it could be a teacher, pastor, counselor, doctor etc. (anyone who has authority and power over the individual.) For more information on these kinds of relationships please go to  advocateweb.org.

JayCee's Story and Healing Process

Part One: The Beginning -- 16 years old

Chapter 1: October 1993

Chapter 2: November 1993

Chapter 3: December 1993

Part Two: The Middle -- 17 years old

Chapter 4: January 1994
Chapter 5: February 1994
Chapter 6: March 1994
Chapter 7: April 1994
Chapter 8: May 1994
Chapter 9: June 1994
Chapter 10: July 1994
Chapter 11: August 1994
Chapter 12: September 1994
Chapter 13: October 1994
Chapter 14: November 1994
Chapter 15: December 1994

Part Three: The Ending -- 18 years old

Chapter 16: January 1995

Chapter 17: February 1995

Chapter 18: March 1994

Chapter 19: April 1994

Chapter 20: May 1994

Chapter 21: June 1994

Chapter 22: July 1994

Chapter 23: August 1994

Part Four: The Healing Process

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December 20, 1993

Well, he didn’t call but like we said I can’t get upset because he doesn’t know when he can and when he can’t same thing with the...

December 18, 1993

It started out with my parents fighting and all that stuff, then we went up to the hospital and Grandma‘s doing better. She can set up,...

December 17, 1993

We met at the library at 4:30 and we talked a little bit. He asked me if anything was wrong and I told him no. He toughed my leg with his...

December 16, 1993

What all happened? First of all I backed up and couldn’t go anywhere, went over a log. Then I finally got to school at 8:10 AM. After...

December 15, 1993

Questions I want to ask Mikey if he calls tonight or the next time he does. First of all invite him to the concert (music) on December...

December 14, 1993

Miss Jackson was subbing for Coach Hakens, so after class I talked to her about Mikey. Told her that he called last night and that he...

December 13, 1993

He called tonight we only talked for five minutes before I told him that I had to make a phone call and that it would only take five...

December 10, 1993

I took two dollars out of my money memory box today, because I needed the money to get into the game. I took a dollar out from each time...

December 9, 1993

I love Mikey, he means the world to me. I mean the world to him, too. Because love works both ways. I wrote that after my meeting third...

December 8, 1993

6:56pm “Soon” was on while I wrote this. My friends and I talked about last night and my feelings for Mikey all day. 4th hour I asked...

December 7, 1993

Sam, Anna, and I talked about Mikey fourth hour and made plans on how to catch up with him. So after the chorus meeting, we went by his...

December 6, 1993

He didn’t call back that night, but he called tonight at 4:15 PM we talked until 5 PM that’s 45 minutes the same number as his nickname,...

December 2, 1993

What’s Love What’s love is it the feeling I have for you or is it the feeling I had for Kansas Boy Sometimes I wonder because they are...

December 1, 1993

I’ve known Mikey for 2 months now. Of course when I first met him all I thought about him was he was another one of those SOBs, because...

November 30, 1993

Tell Me Loves Not Worth It Tell me loves not worth it Not in a dozen life times Because you won’t be the one That last until death. Tell...

November 26, 1993

My Uncle came down home before going up to the hospital and asked me to go up with him and if anybody else wanted to. We dropped my...

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